Archive for January, 2008
It’s strange how a critical mass of change is sometimes needed to put one’s life in perspective. I think I’ve been running on autopilot for a long time and hadn’t even realized it. Comfortability breeds complacency and, at least in my case, led to a lack of reflection on (or coherent direction) in my life.
Does this mean I haven’t reflected on things? Have I been truly asleep for the last weeks, months or even years? Made decisions with forethought? Not really, no. Still, hindsight is (as they say) 20-20 and it’s amazing how clearly I now see what I have been doing and perhaps as importantly what I haven’t been doing.
Change isn’t always easy and it certainly isn’t always fun but I have to say that, at least on a good day, I believe it is usually for the best. At each critical juncture of my life a massive change led ultimately to growth, cheesy as it sounds. The philosopher Immanuel Kant credited his fellow philosopher David Hume with awakening him from his “dogmatic slumber” and I would credit recent events in my life with the same.
Now, Kant ended up far from Hume in any philosophical sense. In extremely simplified terms: he believed in the power of reason to ascertain truths about reality while Hume believed in what he could see, test and prove repeatedly. In short, Kant thought the mind was the answer to understanding reality while Hume thought experience was.
So what is the point? The point is this: whatever it takes to awaken you after a period of inaction or insufficient relfection may not be relevant to your subsequent realizations. In fact, I think it may often take you in a completely new direction you hadn’t anticipated and perhaps can’t fully grasp right away. For me, I’m reacting to changes and picking a new direction to a large extent not directly forced by these changes. Where will it lead? Who knows, but probably not where I expect.
For those of you lame enough to admit it, you’ll recognize the above as a lyrical reversal from the Counting Crows. My sleep schedule has been going wacko recently with all the random stuff going on in my life. I decided that when you’re getting to bed at 8 AM you’re just a wee bit too far off the beaten path of society and are doing yourself more harm than good.
At the same time, though, how to fix the cycle? There’s no way I’m reasonably going to get up at 3 PM and go back to sleep again 9 hours later. Instead, I’m going to push all the way through and make a day-and-a-half out of it. The plus side: lots of time and peace and quiet to work on things tonight and I’m (hopefully) sure to get a good night’s rest tomorrow.
I suppose this kind of sleep cycle can’t really go on forever … can’t let things get pushed back indefinitely over and over again. Still, even without a typical 9-to-5 day job I’m thinking it should be possible to at least roughly align myself with the daily drudgers. And if I still end up on a 2-to-10 sleeping schedule? Well, then I figure I’m on the right track to act like a ‘normal’ person and can still rub in the fact I get to sleep in late!
Due to other changes in my life completely unrelated to a happenstance of our invented Western calander, I’m planning some changes around here. For starters, as you may have noticed, I’ve been flip-flopping on a new design/layout for the site. Also plan to post some halfway decent content again for the first time in a while. Trying to organize myself in general due to some changes in my personal life and it seemed like as good a time as any to start making this site something worth (maybe) reading again, despite the ever-ominous URL.
… I post three times in two days on Allsux!
So what happens when a blog goes ‘mostly silent’ for a while and the primary traffic comes from strange sources? Well, in this case my biggest hits these days are for ‘porn’ and ‘hate homeless’ – neither of which are things you’ll really find out about on this site. The ‘porn’ part comes from a few articles discussing porn on the internet and tagged with the category ‘porn’ on the site. The ‘hate homeless’ is in an article that has nothing to do with hating homeless, which I don’t. Strange, eh?
I seem to post to this site only when I’m really annoyed, so I guess the wheel has come full circle: this is a place for everything that sux after all! At the same time, though, I’ve never been much of a blogger in the traditional sense of blogging about oneself. So, I’ll just say that work is going well and getting less stressful, I’m finally starting to organize my life a bit better but there is a big nagging glitch that just hit. I guess there is bound to be one of those whenever the rest is rolling smoothly, right?